Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Great Uniform Debate - Four Invalid Arguments




               Ahhh, back to school season. A time for bento lunchboxes, mesh backpacks, new kicks, and a school supply list that costs the same as your car payment. No matter where your child attends school, one thing is a given – you’re going to spend money in order to clothe them this school year. Whether you’re buying a $100 pair of tennis shoes from Foot Locker or a $5 pair from Goodwill, we are all doing the best we can to help our children start the school year with less-worn clothing than what they’ve been wearing all summer and (hopefully) a little bit of extra confidence.

              Here in Georgia, there are just about as many schools without a uniform policy as there are schools with a uniform policy. This makes for some interesting Facebook debates among my friends. Because I have a ton of highly intelligent acquaintances who really do have thoughtful opinions to contribute, I’ve gathered lots of reasons for/against uniforms being used in public schools. Yes, I said PUBLIC schools. I’m not talking about the private schools where weekly tuition costs more than your monthly mortgage, because obviously, uniforms have been a staple in private schools for quite some time now. Nothing new there.

              Before I go into the arguments I’ve heard from both sides, let me be the first to say – I love uniforms. I am a huge fan and this post will be extremely biased. Even when my daughters are 16 and they tell me they hate me because I "make them dress like everybody else”, I will still love uniforms and I will give them these exact reasons why until I’m blue in the face. Plus, by then we will have hovercrafts and they can’t stay mad long while flying to the mall after school (Sky Mall, I’ve always been convinced you missed your calling with that in-flight catalogue. Hello. SKY mall. Mall in the sky. Get it?).

              Anyway. Here is my list of the most popular arguments that I hear as to why students should not have to wear uniforms to school.

1.       Educators should focus on educating – not fashion.

This one honestly surprises me every single time I hear it. Why? Well, first of all, your child’s teachers aren’t the ones who decided on the uniform policy for the school.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Whaaaat? That can’t be! Teachers are responsible for everything in public schools. The lunch menu, the uniform policy, my child’s successes and failures…Everything!” 

I’m here to burst your bubble. Guess what teachers are at school to do? Their jobs. What does their job entail? Teaching your child. Protecting them, nurturing them, helping them cope with things that may be going on at home, supporting them, guiding them - these are all tasks that happen to be performed by teachers because they (most of them) love what they do.

If you seriously think teachers sit around all day eyeballing your kid’s clothes to make sure they fit the uniform policy, you’re out of your mind. They have to send your kid to the office if they aren’t following dress code so they don’t lose their job. Also, they can’t possibly let one kid get away with something and not the rest of their students. That would not go over well at all.

Here’s a thought! How about you do your job and send your kid to school in the right f*$#ing clothes. Problem solved.

 

2.       They’re expensive.

If you buy your child’s solid polo shirts and khaki pants at freakin’ Gymboree and Children’s Place instead of Wal-Mart, I’m going to stop you right there. Seriously, go away. You’re not allowed an opinion on this topic.

The biggest complaint I hear toward this topic is that it’s expensive to buy uniforms AND play clothes for after school, on the weekends, and over the holidays. That, I kind of understand. But seriously – I can get my child clothes from Wal-Mart, Target, and Old Navy without spending a fortune and I can shop the clearance racks at children’s specialty stores the season before and it’s actually cheaper than Wally World and Tarjay.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you have to have the best of the best then yes, it might cost you more than a cheap-o like me. But where there’s a will, there’s a way. Suck it up.

To everyone who thinks I’m a heartless b*#ch right now, I know what you’re thinking. “There are people who legitimately can’t afford new clothes at all, much less uniforms that have to fit a certain criteria.”

I get it. I do. I feel for you. However, this isn’t really a good argument against uniforms either. I’ve never seen a school who turned students away because they can’t afford uniforms. They have uniform drives, they can put you in touch with charitable organizations that can provide uniforms for you, and hell…most people will help you out of the goodness of their heart (uniforms or not) when it comes down to it. Again, where there’s a will there’s a way.

Believe it or not, schools are here to help our children.

 

3.       If kids have to wear uniforms, so should teachers.

This one was obviously spewed by some jealous woman who caught her husband checking out the art teacher’s ass at open house. I mean, let’s be honest here – teachers are not busting up in the school wearing something that’s going to cause a Janet Jackson-like “wardrobe malfunction” (or whatever the male equivalent would be for dudes), and they certainly aren’t trying to stand out and “distract” students.

Can you imagine if the teachers were dressed the same as the students. Seriously, think about it for a second. Kindergarten kids who are new to this whole “school” thing wouldn’t have a clue who to ask for help finding their classroom. They’d be so confused as to why the kid by the water fountain monitoring the hallway looks forty-five and wrinkled.

On the flip-side, I know some teachers who look like they are still in high school. Can you imagine if they were teaching high school, wearing the same clothes as the high school students, and actually look seventeen years old? Oh, that’s just bad news waiting to happen. Chaos, I tell you. Chaos.

Now, if by “teachers should wear uniforms too” you mean a chef’s uniform, a professional athlete’s uniform, a doctor’s uniform, etc. I’m sure they’d go for it if it meant they got paid what these professionals got paid. I’m just confused as to what uniforms teachers might wear that would satisfy people. They could all wear paper grocery sacks, but then I’m sure that would start a debate with unhappy environmentalists everywhere.

 

4.       Kids need to be able to express themselves.

This one is the only one that I can sometimes agree with. Sure, some children and teens find it hard to express themselves verbally. A lot of kids don’t want to join clubs or go out of their way find different activities that showcase the person they are becoming. I get it. I do.

However, I will always stand by my opinion on this particular subject. Kids can express themselves through dressing a certain way on Saturday and Sunday and every day after school. They have all summer to try out new styles and decide what they like and what they don’t like.

I will always tell my kids that if they want to express themselves and they want to stand out, they don’t need clothing or hair dye or a cool book bag to do that. They should be able to stand out based on the person they are on the inside, not the outer shell that can be so easily replicated, and bought.

Anybody can dye their hair blue or buy expensive clothes and it isn’t a testament to self-expression. It’s a testament to your taste in clothing. That’s it. You don’t make real friends based on sneakers and you sure as hell don’t make them based on what shirt you decide to wear to school that day.

You make friends after school at drama club, or football practice, or while sitting on the bleachers listening to Weezer. You make friends when you decide to sit next to someone new at lunch or during class when you realize the kid across from you spells their name the same way.

Uniqueness doesn’t come from the way you dress. Unless you make your own clothing, somebody, somewhere has worn it and it isn’t special. It’s a shirt. What makes kids truly unique is learning how to be unique and awesome without relying on superficial things.

 
               That’s all I’ve got. Do you have any arguments for or against uniforms that weren’t mentioned? Please share! I love a good discussion.