The Guy I Call Husband, and Why I Love Him

On August 16th I will celebrate being married to my handsome husband for 6 years. I've decided to use this blog post to celebrate him and the love I have for him.

I also hope to make a few people gag from the mushiness. You're welcome!

Here is a short list I have compiled of just a few of the many, many things I love about the man I married.

1. He's hot. 
    Have you seen him?
2. He isn't jealous.
    True love has very little room for jealousy. Yes, it's cute when your husband gets a little red in the face when he sees another guy hit on you, but if he picks a fight over it? That's a different story.
3. He trusts me.
    He always has, and always will as long as I continue to give him no reason not to. I may have had some trust issues when we first started dating, but he showed me that when you really love someone, you have to trust them. A relationship without trust can be unbearable.
4. He respects me.
    He respects my ideas, my opinions, my time, and me in general.
5. He respects others.
    Have you ever heard the saying "You can tell a lot about a person because of how they treat their waiter"? It's true. The way that Chris treats everyone, any human being he comes in contact with, never ceases to amaze me and make me fall in love with him all over again. He is always polite, always kind, and always respectful. His Mama definitely raised him right.
6. He is kind.
    This is a big one. I've seen this man go in restaurants on more than one occasion and buy a meal for someone begging for money on the street. I've seen him go above and beyond to help out friends and coworkers and never once expect anything in return. He is one of the most kind and compassionate people I've ever met in my life.
6. He is patient.
    With me, with our kids, with people who most would've lost their shit around a long time ago...even with our trouble maker puppy. He may lose his cool now and then (he says he isn't perfect, I beg to differ) but it takes a lot and he generally calms down much quicker than I do.
7. He helps me out.
    While he isn't home that often because of his job (during football season anyway), when he is home he does his very best to help in any way that he can. Whether that means waking up with the baby at 5:30 am so I can get an extra 30 minutes of sleep in, or doing the dishes before bed, he is always willing to lend a hand.
8. He loves his parents.
    Not many people (especially grown men) would ever moved away from their parents only to search for years for a job to bring us closer to them. He would do anything for his mom and step dad, or anyone in his family (or mine) for that matter and never think twice about it.
9. He loves sports.
    I'm a football fan, but that's really where I draw the line. Unless The Boy grows up to play baseball or golf or something, I'll probably never show interest in anything other than football. Not my husband. He will watch just about any type of athletic event on television. This might annoy me at times, but it's really a great thing. It is wonderful to have the capacity to be passionate about something. In my opinion, it speaks volumes about a person.
10. He didn't listen to his friends.
      I remember on our wedding day one of my husband's friends telling me he thought we made a mistake getting married. He said that getting married meant having kids and starting a family and he didn't think my husband was ready for that. If he said that to my face on my wedding day, what had he been saying to my husband about us before we got married?? Thank God he was mature and self aware enough to listen only to himself.
11. He still tries.
      He still holds doors open for me, holds my hand, takes me on dates, and comes up with surprises for me. He doesn't act like he has nothing to lose when it comes to our relationship.
12. He is the best father.
      He changes diapers, handles middle of the night feedings, fills in at dance class, holds down the fort for me to have a ladies night, reads bedtime stories, kisses booboos, gives hugs, kisses, and cuddles and there is absolutely nothing more attractive than a good Daddy.
13. He appreciates me.
      He has never once made me feel less than him for not having a full-time (paying) job. He acknowledges that what I'm doing by staying at home with our children is something pretty great and he always makes sure to tell me how much he appreciates everything I do.
14. He doesn't believe in divorce.
     We have mostly the same opinion and feelings toward the big issues in our lives...religion, politics, etc. Before we ever got married we both agreed on the fact that we don't believe in divorce (only under certain, extreme circumstances) and we still feel that way to this day.
15. He tells me he loves me.
     We aren't one of those couples who only say "I love you" while hanging up the phone or before bed. In fact, we've been (lovingly) picked on for how often we proclaim our love for each other on an average day. It doesn't matter who he is around, or what is going on, he's never afraid to let me know he loves me.
16. That smile of his.
      No, not the one acquaintances and coworkers see. Not the one he puts on to be polite or seem interested. The smile that is reserved for occasions of true happiness. When he finds something really funny or when he is very proud of something, he has a smile that is truly the most comforting thing in my entire life.

I'm always told I got one of the few good men out there - I'm convinced I've got the best! There is nothing that we can't overcome together. Things are not always perfect between the two of us, but we are both always more than willing to work toward a common goal - a happy, successful marriage.

With that being said, Happy Anniversary to the man who has made me happier than I've ever dreamed I could be. Thank you for this amazing life we have built together. I can't wait to see what is in store for us in the years to come!

How to stop being so negative. Sometimes. If you try.

              I’ve been in a funk lately, y’all. I won’t lie and tell you it’s always been sunshine and roses for me and my family – it hasn’t. After being in a really dark place for a while following the birth of my middle daughter (I suffered from PPD), I finally began to find my happy place again.
              Two years ago we moved to South GA, closer to family, and that really made a huge positive difference in my life. Going from having no one around to having family and friends just turned my entire attitude and perspective on life around.
              After all of this positivity and awesomeness, I have begun seeing the darkness creep back into my life. Things that I once let roll off my back have me crying into my pillow and I’ve found myself wanting to flip off total strangers even more than I usually do. This is what led me to writing this blog post. The need for happiness…No, not the need for happiness – my life is plenty happy and I’m very blessed in many areas of my life. My need is to develop the ability to let the good aspects of my life overpower the bad, stressful, disappointing parts of my life.
              This is something I’ve always struggled with, but it is getting to the point that even I am sick of it. I can’t imagine how unnerving it must be for those around me. So I’ve compiled a list of the things that I feel I can do (and everyone else can do too) to help myself stay positive and happy. Now, I’m not saying you’ll never see me whine on Facebook, and you’ll never see me skip a glass of wine after a super frustrating day…I’m just going to make more of an effort to overlook the negativity and see the awesome.

1. Let it Go.
              I plan to follow the advice of a particular Ice Queen we all know and tolerate and just let shit go. I can’t control every aspect of my life. I just can’t. That isn’t necessarily my issue (though my husband might beg to differ). My issue, and what constantly drags me down, is that I sit and mull over the things I can’t control.
              If it rains on a Saturday that we planned on spending at the beach, I never just let it go. Instead, I pout and grouch and cuss because my day was ruined. My saint of a husband will spend all day trying to find new activities to remedy my ruined beach trip and instead of hopping on an idea and making the day fun, I just stay pissy. It’s not fun for me. I don’t like pissy Stefanie. I’m sure everyone else hates her even more than I do. Maybe even more than they hate that I just used a line from Frozen in a blog post.
              It’s stuck in your head now, isn’t it?

2. Conceal, Don’t Feel.
              Oh snap. I did it again. Sorry, y’all.
              In all seriousness, I have no intentions of not feeling stressed, annoyed, angry, etc. I just have to learn to conceal these negative feelings a little better. For example, there really is no need for me to proclaim, “I hate people!” every time I go to Wal-Mart. Maybe if I don’t say it out loud, I will stop thinking it as often. Maybe not, but it’s worth a try.

3. Stop Complaining
              No, not all together. I’m not a saint. Mostly, I need to stop complaining to people with the expectation of something being done about it. For example, my sweet husband is a teacher as well as a football coach. He is almost never home during football season. There is literally nothing he could do in order to help with these three monsters if he isn’t home. I know this.
              However, that doesn’t stop me from texting him ten times a day. The text messages range from “Pick up wine on your way home,” to “Stop at a clinic and get a vasectomy on your way home because I’m not doing this shit again!” I’ve got to stop letting him know how much my days suck. It just makes his day suck when it doesn’t have to.

4. Get to the Gym.
              I love the gym, y’all. I was never the type of person to work out until after I had my third child. I joined the Y, made connections with some awesome women, and I continually surprise myself with what I can do.
              Lately, since I fell back into this funk, I have been slacking at the gym. I haven’t been going often, which means I’m not feeling cute at all. Not only that, but I’m not getting my me time! I seriously can’t say enough about the miracles it will do for your soul to drop your kids off for an hour, kick your own ass, and then pick them back up feeling refreshed (and tired).

5. Get Rid of the Assholes.
              Here lately I’ve realized that I have a lot of jerks in my life. Maybe they weren’t always jerks so I didn’t notice it, or maybe I used to be a jerk too and I just came to my senses. Either way, they are bringing me down.
              I have noticed that being around people who are constantly down and negative really takes a toll on one’s attitude. When you’re constantly thinking “Sheesh, what a jerk!” you start feeling like a jerk as well and it’s a vicious circle. Do yourself a favor. Get rid of the assholes in your life. Do it in a nice way so you aren’t then considered an asshole too, but get rid of them. You’ll thank me later.

6. Treat yo’self.
              Do it! Be selfish. Also, keep in mind that treating yourself doesn’t mean spending big bucks. If you’re a calorie counter, eat that cupcake! If you’re over-scheduled, spend a day (or an hour) doing absolutely nothing! If you’re a single mom with no help and no real means of relaxation, treat yourself by cutting yourself some slack for the day and not washing a single dish. It’ll be there tomorrow. I promise.

7. Treat someone else.
              This is a big one. I feel good when I help others. Damn good. Seriously, there is nothing like it. You know the feeling you get when your kids wake up on Christmas morning to see their awesome new gifts? That’s the feeling I get when I help someone else.
              The best part is, it doesn’t matter if I’m babysitting for a friend, buying something cool for my nephew, or taking care of a chore so my better half doesn’t have to do it later – it just feels good! This is something we are all capable of, no matter our circumstance. If the only thing you have to offer is a smile (even if you really hate people), treat someone. You’ll end up reaping more benefits than they ever will.

8. Remind yourself how awesome life is.
              No matter how tough anything gets, I have to remember that I don’t have it so bad. Now, please don’t be mistaken. I am not one to say, “Oh, it could be so much worse,” when people complain. That’s like saying, “Oh, so-and-so has it so much better,” as a response to someone’s happiness. It makes no sense. We are all fighting our own battles and celebrating our own victories, we are allowed to feel how we feel without comparing ourselves to others.
              What I’m saying is, if I remind myself daily how awesome life is then maybe it will stick. It will become a habit. Then when I’m trying to bathe my two girls while my freshly bathed and dressed one-year-old grabs a juicy turd out of the toilet I can easily remind myself that it is okay, because poop washes off, clothes can be changed, and hopefully we can just flush the potty and start over tomorrow.
              That actually sounds like a really great mantra for myself. “Poop washes off, clothes can be changed, and hopefully we can just flush the potty and start over tomorrow.”

Can you relate? What are some things you have realized that help to decrease the negativity in your own life?